This month’s parenting corner is all about the power of reframing! What is reframing, you may ask? It “is a way of viewing and experiencing events, ideas, concepts and emotions to find more positive alternatives.” Not only do we need to focus on reframing our own thinking, but train our children to do the same. “A big part of the solution is learning to reframe things, to enable our young people to look at things including their own abilities in different ways using a strengths based viewing point. This reframing is a life skill that digs deeply into innovation” -Reverend Tric Malcolm
"In the midst of a challenge, children can forget past successes and get caught up in the belief that they don't have what it takes to meet the challenge."Caelan Kuban, LMSW
How Do We Reframe Negative Behavior?!
Great question!!! We all know as parents, when our child is misbehaving, it. is. exhausting. BUT, hear me out, instead of viewing your youth as hyperactive, think of them as energetic! When a child has behavioral issues, it is common to put them down and speak negatively to them. Instead of following modern traditional behavior, try something new! Try to find a positive aspect of their personality that is coming through (even if it is WAY too strong at the time). By keeping your mind frame positive, your reactions will start to change your child's behavior for the better! Now I am not saying to let them get away with doing wrong, but instead, reprimand them using positive language. Instead of telling them they are unruly heathens, try using a positive approach by starting with, "One of the things I love about you the most is how energetic you are, but right now, we need to tone down the energy [for blank reason]."
Self Confidence in Reframing
We all have those times as parents when our kids come home from school upset over something they were made fun of for. This is a prime time to practice reframing! Instead of focusing on the mean comments, turn their attention on to something positive that they can do. Then relate the mean comment back to the positive. Ask them, does it have any affect on their ability to do __? Do they agree with the comments? Does it really matter what the mean children think when your child can do ___? Increase the positive thoughts to cause them to remember how special they are!
This Month's Action Step:
Let January 2018 be the starting point for a year of positive behavioral change! Ever heard the phrase "every cloud has a silver lining?" It is so true! Let that be your mantra throughout the year. And remember, reframe, reframe, reframe!!!
