Great! So your kids have started school again, are settling into a schedule and forming new relationships! Some of them have overcome the nervousness of starting a new school, while others are changing friend groups and starting fresh. While all of this is exciting and hard to keep track of, it is important that you do! Teenage years are pivotal in forming a youth’s mind set and helping them decide on what path to take for their future. It is important you have the tools to help guide your youth along the way! It is my honor to introduce to you the concept of *drum roll please* PROACTIVE PARENTING.
Ask Questions!
The best way to stay in the know with what’s going on with your child’s life is to ask them! Ask about their friends. How are they doing, and what are they like? Allow your child to invite them over so you can meet them and their parents. Establishing good parent to parent relationships is paramount to implementing healthy relationships for your youth.
Making judgement calls on who your child is around can often be a tough challenge. It is important that we keep tabs on who is catching our child’s attention whether it be romantically, friendship wise, and even with mentoring. Teenage years are the hardest years for youth because their body is physically developing. This means their hormones are at inconsistent levels which causes frequent mood changes. This can cause them to be sensitive to what people have to say and become easily aggravated. Irrational decisions tend to be made during this time period in a youth’s life. It is important as a parent that you monitor what is going on their life so that you can help them react appropriately to negative situations. Monitoring who your child spends their time with will aid you in being proactive.
Proactive Parenting is a Necessity
There is a movie called Thirteen that came out in 2003 about a single mother and daughter’s journey through her teenage years. In the movie the girl develops bad relationships that influence her to engage in poor decisions. Throughout the movie, the mother ignored many signs of the daughter’s behavior. At the end of the movie the mother realizes she should have been more proactive. Ignoring your youth’s behavior and hoping for the best is often the route elected for modern parents. Why? Because monitoring kids who are mini versions of ourselves is hard work! It may surprise you to learn that most kids actually like rules! Studies show that children feel safer and more loved when they have set rules to follow. I suggest a few helpful rules to exercise proactive parenting.
Proactive Parenting Rules!
(See what I did there?)
- A curfew
- Set a time frame each day they have to spend on homework
- Give them daily chores they must complete prior to free time
- Do not let your child stay at anyone’s house unless you have met and trust the other child’s parents
This Month’s Call to Action:
Having set boundaries and consequences to rules when they are broken, teaches kids responsibility and also keeps them safe. I challenge every parent to start engaging with other parents. Get involved in your kids social life. You need to know who your child is spending their time with because life experiences is the biggest mold for a child’s future.
