Communication for Dinner- Parenting Corner

As the school year comes upon us, I want to focus on maintaining positive communication with your youth. Each school year brings new challenges and development in our kids, so we need to constantly remain approachable. Let me put it to you this way, would you rather your child stay at a party where there are illegal substances and wined up being peer pressured to partake in them, or, would you rather your youth feel comfortable enough to pick up the phone and call you to come get them?

“Listen with curiosity. Speak with honesty. Act with integrity. The greatest problem with communication is we don’t listen to understand. We listen to reply. When we listen with curiosity, we don’t listen with the intent to reply. We listen for what’s behind the words.” Roy T. Bennett, The Light in the Heart
A group of youth practicing communication skills while making dinner.

How do we open up the lines of communication?

Simple! Start by incorporating family dinners into the week. But what about working parents? Never fear! If you can incorporate them at the very minimum of once a week, you will still reap a huge benefit! Youth need reassurance that their parents care about what is going on in their lives. Establishing certain days (if not every day) to sit down as a family, share a meal, and talk, is a huge way to show you care. It gives the family a scheduled time to spend together.

Two youth practicing communication with two of our staff.
“Recent studies link regular family dinners with many behaviors that parents pray for: lower rates of substance abuse, teen pregnancy and depression, as well as higher grade-point averages and self-esteem. Studies also indicate that dinner conversation is a more potent vocabulary-booster than reading, and the stories told around the kitchen table help our children build resilience.”
Anne Fishel, Ph.D, The Family Dinner Project

Give Me a High and Give Me a Low

Talking to your kids over dinner can change their whole day. If you have trouble finding ways to open the conversation or “lines of communication,” there are a myriad of topics to discuss! Start by asking about their day. I like to start with a high low method. That means, give me one “high” or good thing that happened that day and one “low” which is if something negative happened that day. After they give you their high and low for the day, expand on their response. The idea is to listen to your kids and really understand what is going on in their lives. Also, talking about YOUR day makes them feel like you let them in on your life as well. An open line of communication is a two way street. It’s all about reciprocation.

“All great change in America starts at the dinner table.”Ronald Reagan

This Month’s Action Step:

As kids get older, they have more questions and face more temptation to do wrong. Maintaining open communication with them will allow them to feel comfortable coming to you with their issues. The hard questions are the ones that need to be answered the most. They are what helps define your youth. I challenge all parents and guardians to start the tradition of eating dinner with your kids at least three times a week! It is a simple yet powerful step in mending a strained relationship in a pivotal developmental time!